Minutes after getting back home from a grocery shopping spree, I settled down into cooking dinner. All through the evening, I narrated stories of spaghetti grandeur to my room-mate who is ,well a little too "Indianized" to be precise with his taste buds. After hypnotizing him for the better part of an hour, we finally decided to cook spaghetti tonight. Now, just hang on and read ahead to find out how I made a "Flying Spaghetti Monster" out of this whole situation!
It all started right with the boiling of spaghetti. I forgot to add salt and a little oil (to prevent the strands from sticking to one another) while boiling spaghetti. Well, that ain't criminal; so, I said to myself, "go on champ! you've got it covered!". Then came the turn of onion to add a little tear or two to the process. I found a half-cut onion in the freezer (yup! one of my illustrious roomies had the resourcefulness to carefully place a cut onion in the freezer to preserve it for all eternity lest a nuclear war between America and Swaziland breaks out all of a sudden!! Good Jesus, what do we do without a half-cut frozen onion?? He probably thought he could become the sole savior of all humanity!). Now, I don't claim to be anywhere close to a gourmet cook but I should have had the common sense of a bullock to infer that frozen onion would taste crappy if microwaved , to say the least. But, my stupidity got the best of me. I microwaved it and it came out all drenched and soggy like a mass of marshy earth found at tropical swamps. I followed that up with a clever little sleight of cookery, namely cooking the marshy mass in cheese! The stench that reeked is stuff that horror stories are made of and not to mention that the mass still remained uncooked. Then, I added a little too much of tomato puree to the mixture along with some mushrooms and italian herb mix. The whole thing took a tangy turn for the worst. On top of that I added some milk and sugar (well, I had some kulfi (traditional Indian ice cream) just before making this... So, it's influence kind of rubbed off ;). Finally, voila, you've got the world-famous "Flying Spaghetti Monster!". Tastes like sh**, stinks like the back of donkey, looks like squished pumpkin lying on the road, what more do you want!
In case you are wondering what a REAL "Flying Spaghetti Monster" is, it is a holy deity of the pastafarians (pasta + rastafarian). Pastafarianism is a religion started by a frustrated grad student from Oregon State University to protest against the state's scrapping of the biological evolution from the school curriculum. This religion is complete with its own gospel and FSM branded t-shirts! Anyways, so much for de-Indianizing my roomies' taste buds. I was lucky not to get smacked on the face by my own "Flying Spaghetti Monster"! Peace!
